Empty Space in me....

Morning was pretty okie where it was boring as usuall ...started off with a friend calling me all d way from canada... yea yea...most of u know here ...Deniecehaih...everyone's having their problems...where mine is just horrible too...well she called me at about 7...(gawd dammit so early!!)just to ask me for my help with her loving boyfriend... seems they had a fight..and for all d person to call she called me all the way from canada!!! she wasn't fine as i could actually hear the tone of her voice..sorta crying...coz of little problems.... in the end i helped... and..eventually both of them were okay i guess...when that long conversation ended... she poped out d only question i can never answer...."Ben, U got one yet?"

that same question every single time kills me inside slowly...
Its just a thing i can't get no more... i fine that there's actually no way in anyhow i would get one...i am actually prepared to handle it... but its just like a hole in me.. while i just wait and hope...haih... people giving good comments about me... always doesen't quite help no more...anyway a personal message.."why not me?, u know i am here"...dont worry the person is surely reading this.. and its okie..

Hand Ball training was rough today..getting all muddy and sick was not the plan...getting injured too...the responsibility of me getting the jerseys done by the begining of school was not a good idea...people refusing to pay up..and in d end i would waste money on it all....

Life ain't all great when d people you really like isn't yours at all....
Hmm... to be truthfull... I liked alot of people...
but its just something that tells them what to not like in me..
am i hatefull
am i anonying?
well..i just need everyone to tell me...
being too straight forward is not always the answer to my problems..coz telling a little like may just help cure pain in my friends...f
riends such as Sonia... well she's
intrested in some malay guy from star.. i have nothing against it..but well if u really want something u better go out and get it... well i cant really comment on him..but i dont think its a good idea...but so much so... its not me....all i can give is hope for everyone around me to be happy...(thats why i always smile)

And Christine .. my friend from kl... leaving to australia... just hope she would understand what ever i told her.. coz its not all fun...i know much coz she takes everything too seriously... smile abit... u got another 3 weeks... go watch a movie.. enjoy...and definely.. not bother about me.. coz my own problems is my own.. and u are not the one that is supposed to cure it...

well..forgot to tell about 4 days ago... sorry my fellow ACS and convent interactors...to the acs...your I.U Day was good...seriously u killed us La Sallians... and for that... i think i would not be theone to be holding the title for interact club's iu director... its actually a death note to me...our club needs life..no members...killed and d bodies draged to Leo... well my full respect to the Greatest club in La Salle the Leo's...With no boost in confidence... there is only resignation for my self...
and no, Abdullah..."there is no point in a point with no meaning at all..."

and now to the convent.. sorry for a few of us taking your places at the i.u day... didin't feel right...and hope this would end the civil rival thing between both of our clubs,,,its horrible.. i know... and i just hope it wont continue since it started last year...

I ,now so far have d biggest break down of my life.... where resources are little.. i just have a shut eye to this problem...

I need Support!

I need Life!

I need Help...

please i need some one to help me fill in the empty space in me..

-Ben-

Day Rating:
Not good / 10

ps : this is sort of like a "sorry" note to many...