Showing posts with label Advices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advices. Show all posts

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Calm

It's a Friday morning, and well... i'm headed out to Westfields to run some errands...
got me thinking... it's going to be a week before i head home and i'm actually quite excited about it. =)

but the excitement is doused by the knowing fact that I've got 2 more exams coming up... and their not your walk over papers....

The thought does come to me, did i make the right decision to take up engineering?
clearly I've little interest in the process.. and all i was doing is setting my mind to it....

but to think of it really hard...
i think my life was running on a believe that i should compete with the people around me.
I don't mean the people i meet in uni...
but more of my own family,
some how it had been hard wired in my brain that i've got to be better than them in alot of ways...

=/

Like it has took me nearly 10 years to realize that in the education field, i was actually better than my siblings all this while... =/
sadly, that was not the case of the news my parents used to feed me with.. =/

But as time passed, i'm sure my parents did mean the best of intentions...
attempting to plant a hopeful seed just like other parents would do the same....

Whenever someone comes up to me and asks "Where Do you see yourself in 5 years"

well, i'm clearly stunned to be honest....
i've not one single clear way.....

*sigh*

i need help....
i think i need to talk to dad about this... =/

Till Then =)

-Ben-


Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Bird... and the dung....

Hey everyone!
if you've read my last 2 post!
i've recieved an email from a friend
well those forwarded thing...
=3 but hey!
this one was surprisingly good..!
here's another part of the email..
=3


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

-BeN-

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

~ The Office... =)

Hey everyone

I recieved this in a forwarded mail...
thought it would be pretty cool to be shared..
=3

Enjoy

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree'
sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?'
replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually
gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer,
who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

-BeN-

Monday, September 08, 2008

Just Graphs... =)

*Sleeps on the table and relaxes away*

did u know that most people still don't get their facts straight....

I've been providing council with quite a few people...
over the past few months...
and the ONE thing i know what they all have in common...

is that...

PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN TILL IT'S TOO LATE!

I don't blame them...

it's like looking at this graph...

yes... It's a 3D graph...
=3

What they say : It's a parabola...
Ben : It's a Graph shaped of a parabola...
What they reply : NO! it's a parabola! not a graph!
*Professional comes into the room*
Professional Mathematician : Actually he's right... It's a Graph shaped of a parabola...
What they reply : We don't care... It's a parabola!

*5 days later after being intimidated by others*

What they say : Why didn't you tell me it is...!?
Ben : *shakes head*
(the graph word was is the advice)

My whole point here is...
Humans are creatures of disbelief....
we all tend to ignore the signs that are prominent..
ps: prominent means "standing out so as to be seen easily"

Sometimes...

When you are left in doubt...

Look around you....

Widen your eyes...

and hear a little better....

because the answers are just infront of you...

Anyone can offer you advice...
It may be good... or bad....
whatever the fact may be...
The fact still remains...
Are you going to accept his/her advice?

because not all advice is what it seems...
and some may just be wrong...
But just think a little deeper... and you will find the answer...

The Picture : Whatever you may call it....

-BeN-
*INTIMA Week's Here!*

Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Country that I love....

Happy Birthday Malaysia...

51 years have passed....


any yet... we still don't understand what is racial unity...
For the times which had passed... i always wondered....
This is a really great country!
We can do almost anything we want...
with limited freedom to do so... =3


Well.. but my thoughts on this once beautiful country has changed....

Doubts increased....

Worry....

Pain....



You know?
It used to be a joke to say that
"Singaporeans are Kia-su people"
(ps: kia-su means "afraid of loosing")

But this year...
This very year of 2008!

yup...
We have just taken over that title!
It's all been alright for the past year during our
golden jubilee of 50 years in the running of a strong nation...

But then came the election...
March 8th.... and hell
that was a day.. that malaysians will never forget....
The government tried to scare us with that stupid may 16th issue...
all the ragging politics about why we should keep supporting the government...

Obvious...
They knew they were in big trouble...
they knew their time was up....
But they didn't want to go down without a fight...

From my point of view...
That is the true malaysian spirit...
Never giving up...
or.... Malaysia Boleh....


But somehow... you should know when is the time for you to give up....
Cause if the country was not runned on democracy..
or i should say if our politics were not played fair....
hell... i'll give this country another 10 years of survival.....
and that's a bargain already!

After the elections... there we were...
the country left in polical doubt...
I Don't Think Newspaper's have the right to speak for the people...
Because... THEY ARE NOT THE PEOPLE!
who gives them the right to say what they THINK we say...
Who knows if they have been looking the wrong way....
If you really want to know what are the people thinking...

Walk around....

ask serious students...

yes... Students....

We these days are much smarter that the generations before...
and hell we do know what is going on... we just couldn't care less.....
and yes... we do know how to solve it...
but ensure you choose wisely... as racism is still at large...


ISA and crap...
gosh... even i could come up with better answers to the world...
better than...
"He is endangering national security"
or even
"We are trying to keep him safe"
what bullshit....

(-_-)


What Have we become!? *screaming*

Why are we all hiding!? *yelling*

Hiding behind 3 miserable words..
Internal Security Act

If you are going for a battle, STAY AT THE FRONT!
or by the time the fight is over... where's your dignity...
how would u feel to tell everyone..
"I went to battle.. but i did not kill anyone as i was at the back"
(People will eventually remember you as the pussy of the country...)

I LOVE MALAYSIA!
no matter how much it would cost me...
and as a Malaysian...
I will do what it takes to ensure...
That this country will NOT GO TO THE DOGS!!!

If you really love Malaysia...
Trust in it....
Believe that you can do it....
and always

Believe In
What Is Right!


-BeN-

ps: Malaysia still boleh....

Sunday, July 13, 2008

10 Signs That You're Dating a Commitment-Ready Guy

Hey everyone,
questions asked by a staggering 70 people with the same motives

Here's the IT ...

Are you ready for a relationship that is going to lead somewhere
without you being led on?

It's time to start weeding out the commitment phobics
and put your time and effort into men
that are looking for the kind of relationship you want
-- one that has a future.
If you're interested in getting married,
ignore these at your own risk.

Here's what to look for:


1. His friends are married
If you are interested in a guy, check out his friends' left hands to see if they have wedding rings on.
“Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married.”
Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married. If all of his friends are still single and in the "party-with-the-boys" phase, that's a bad sign.

2. He's financially secure
Studies show that men who own a home are more marriage-ready. A man who is generally financially stable, and has his ducks in a row, feels marriage is a practical next step for him.

3. He pursues you
The guy who is commitment-ready is going to initiate doing things with you. If you're emailing him and he takes days to email you back, if you have to text him to find out where he is, if you are always calling him, you're chasing a man who's probably not marriage-material.

4. He's willing to wait
Yes, research is telling us what we already know: If a guy gets to know you before getting intimate, he is more likely to commit.

5. He watches DVDs with you when you're sick
Taking care of you when you're sick shows that this guy isn't just in it for the fun and sex. If he wants to be with you in bad times, it's a sign he's in it for the long haul.

6. He gets to know your friends and family
A guy who is thinking long-term wants to truly get to know you. Seeing you interact with your family and friends helps him learn where you come from and more about who you are. The flip side of it is that he will also want you to get to know him! He'll want to see if you fit in with his family and friends. A guy who keeps you separate from the important people in his life is just playing around.

7. He says, "we" instead of "me"
When he switches from "me" to "we", that's a sign he's committing to you at a deeper level. If your guy is all, "I", "me", and "my" instead of "we" and "us" in conversations after you've been dating a while, his mindset is still in single guy mode.

8. He's not afraid of compromise
“A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way.”
A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way. A bull-headed guy who needs everything his way or it's the highway, isn't ready for the compromise that's naturally part of a mature relationship.

9. He doesn't need excuses
Commitment-phobic guys always have an excuse about why they can't be with you on Saturday night, why they didn't call, and why they aren't ready for a relationship right now. A commitment-ready guy doesn't need excuses, he just needs you.

10. He likes being in a long-term relationship
Some men like being in a monogamous relationship and some don't. The sooner you realize and accept this the better. If he complains all the time about needing space, treats you like a giant burden instead of a gift, and keeps talking about taking things slow, he's telling you he's not ready for a commitment. On the other hand, if he's done with the party scene, enjoys your "couple time" together, and has a strong sense of family, you've found a commitment-ready guy.

-BeN-

Thanks to :
Caroline Presno, Ed.D., P.C.C.

ps: hope this answer ur questions got it out from Yahoo Personals.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Advice ~ How do I know that I should call back? Or Should I not?

Hey everyone,

Sorry I’ve not been completing all of your requests. A total of 270 ++ entries.
I’ve sorted this question to fulfil 19 people’s requests.
Request came from (majority questioners) : Non-asian countries.
Let’s Begin Shall We.

Q : How do I know that I should call back? Or Should I not?

Do you realize that if you conducted your dating life like your business life,
that you would probably be a far more successful dater?

Think about it -- your follow-ups would be better,
your memory would be better... and your manners would be better.
Not only that, but how you come across to others would be better
because you would not be so emotionally driven and attached to every single outcome.

One of the most common dating situations in which

people always seem to lose their "business skills"

is deciding when to return a phone call after a date leaves a message.
Many people feel it's necessary to create some super-special strategy
to decide when to return that phone message.

This is the most ridiculous thing in the world!

So let's go into it so we can settle this issue once and for all.
In the area of dating, when do you call a date back
after he/she has left you a phone message?

Here are five phone rules that everyone should following when dating:

1: Be Prompt When They're Prompt.

If you give out your phone number and a date calls you within 24 hours,
then you should call this date back within 24 hours.
There should be none of this "waiting four or five days to call" business.
When your date has called you within 24 hours, that's called momentum.
It's called momentum for a reason, and so many people in dating
lose that momentum very quickly by not promptly returning phone calls.
Even if you're busy, call your date back promptly to let your date
know that you're busy and tell your date you will
connect with him/her in a few days when your schedule settles down;
Waiting four or five days to return a phone message to me is simply rude.
You would never do this in your business life,
yet that is what so many people do in their dating life.

2: If They Waited, You May Also Wait.

You've given your phone number to a date,
and that date waits four or five days to call you.
As far as I'm concerned, when that happens you are entitled
to wait four or five days to return that person's call.
That person did not make you a priority, and he/she played games.
Although the person decided to call you,
what he/she was likely actually doing during those
four or five days was debating whether he/she wanted to call you.
This shows lack of interest. I know that when I get a
woman's phone number and wait four or five days to call her, that I'm really not that interested in her and I really don't care whether or not she calls me back.

3: It's OK to Call Right Back.

If a date calls you promptly after you've given him/her
your phone number, then you should call this date back within 24 hours
but it is even perfectly fine to call him/her
back the same night your date called you.
It doesn't look desperate.
It looks like you actually have manners,
that you're someone who pays attention to detail,
and that you're someone who respects other people's time.
Think about this for a second. When a date calls you,
he/she is taking time out of their day to talk to you.
So it's not only "OK," but really simple courtesy,
to acknowledge this with a promptly returned phone call.
This is something we do in business every day without
ever thinking twice about it, but we don't do this in our dating life
because we conduct it with emotionally based decisions.

4: You Can't Manipulate Your Date Into Liking You.

So many people think there needs to be some "strategy"
in making the decision when to return phone calls.
They'll think things like, "Oh, let me think when I should call my date back.
Should I wait four or five days so I'll seem busy and not too available?
If I call back today will I seem desperate?
It doesn't work that way!
This is simply a matter of courtesy and being a mature adult.
If a client calls me and leaves me a message about wanting me to coach him/her,
I will call the client back as quickly as possible
not because I'm desperate for business but
because I respect the fact that the client took the time to contact me.
Playing games and trying to make your date think certain things about you
(like that you're busy or not desperate)
by waiting to return a phone call will not make your date
more interested in you than he/she would otherwise be.
All you will accomplish by doing this is make your date think
you're rude and uninterested.

5: Being Busy Is No Excuse.

So many of us are busy being busy.
As busy people, we get how busy everyone's life can be.
Returning a phone call and leaving a voicemail message,
though, takes only about 15 to 30 seconds.
Returning a call to let a date know that you're busy and
will call him/her in a few days takes barely a minute.
It's better to return a call promptly and let your date
know you're busy and will call him/her in a few days after things settle down
(with work, kids, or whatever it might be),
then to put the phone call off and to think about it.
The longer you wait to call your date back,
the less likely your date will still have the same interest
in you that your date had in the first place.

These are all tips that you should follow in navigating the phone calls you receive from someone you're newly dating. These tips are equally applicable to men and women. So remember to follow these rules, and when your date calls you -- call your date back!

-BeN-

Thanks to : Alex , Deniece , Joanne.






Monday, June 16, 2008

Advice - Do You Have Trouble Hanging Onto Relationships?

Hey everyone,
this is a questions taken from 16 people!
mostly Females
i did a little survey on 40 people 20 guys 20 girls..
and i manage to come up with this..

I've known people who are very smart, sometimes very kind, they are not drunks or addicts, they are funny, good looking, sometimes even wealthy, and yet somehow they have great difficulty hanging onto a relationship longer than a year. They don't know why, but their loved ones keep leaving them. It hurts particularly when the person they are dating just quits talking to them.

You have to understand that people won't choose to be with you because you have great qualities, or because you are right and can win arguments with them. They will choose to be with you because they feel good to be around you, just as you should feel good to be around them. A relationship where both parties feel better to be around each other are the ones that bring joy to both parties and last.

You must first be certain you choose to date only those persons who will treat you well. Often people who do not treat others well will be very charming in the beginning. This can mislead, so to recognize a person who will treat you poorly one day, look for how they treat others now. What is their general attitude of other people? How did they treat their previous partner? How do they treat their mother, the waitress, their boss? Because if they are treating others poorly, sooner or later that is how they will treat you. Avoid all people who do not treat others well and speak well of most people.

To improve your relationships you should also carefully examine how you are treating your girlfriends or boyfriends. Treating someone well is about more than doing nice things for them. If you are having trouble maintaining relationships, then you would to well to consider if you are listening to what your partner is saying they need in your relationship. Many people discount what their partner is telling them and ignore the warning. But if the partner is not happy they will eventually leave and no amount of arguing or persuasion or gifts will get them to stay.

All your dealings with them must be completely honest. You must avoid saying things that might make them feel badly about themselves. If you said something that hurt them, being forgiven does not mean that statement or hurtful action is erased and forgotten. They must feel good to want to be around you. They must feel they can trust you, that you will respect them, listen to their needs, and care about helping them to be happy.

-BeN-

Anyway don’t forget to send in more of your requests to
lemonadetycoon123@yahoo.com

And place your send title/topic as “ Blog request : ” followed by your topic! =3

Monday, June 09, 2008

Advice - Abusive Relationships Cannot Be Repaired

Hey everyone!
Well..
I've got this question from some guys that were asking about relationships being abusive
and well..asking around and also getting help from others
i have manage to compile this.

Many women live in a relationship that is physically abusive.
The question is why?
Are they not realizing that the relationship is abusive?
Do they get any positive result from that relationship?
Do they fear hurting their partner by leaving?
Why don't they retaliate or walk out?
How do they come in this situation of getting abused?
When it began, why did they not realize?

One can ask many questions about abusive relationships without getting an answer. Let us discuss this.

Let us look at a relationship.
It began well.
After some months, abuse began.
It was very small and at long intervals.
The woman thought that abuse was not inherent
in the nature of her partner and that with time it would stop.
But with time it increased.
Now she is getting accustomed to abuse and
many times does not realize that she is being abused.

When she starts thinking about it,
she begins feeling bad.
How could she go through this?
She may begin hating herself for that.
How does she talk about it to others? What will they say?
They will also ask the question - why did you bear this for so long.
So what should she do?
This self-beating continues with abuse.
The abuser knows that he has hold over
his woman and she will not protest. He continues.

One day, the woman comes to terms with
her situation and can no longer bear the pain of hiding the abuse.
She can no longer tolerate the abuse and the hurt to her self-esteem.
At that point, she walks out.
This was an example. The story may proceed in many different ways.
If you know anybody about whom you doubt that she is undergoing abuse,
talk to her and get her counseling to get out of the relationship.

Because the longer she would stay in an abusive relationship,
she would only place more doubt on herself for the future.


Anyway don’t forget to send in more of your requests to
lemonadetycoon123@yahoo.com

And place your send title/topic as “ Blog request : ” followed by your topic! =3

-BeN-

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Did u know sleeping early is the the thing that keeps u ALIVE!?

Hey everyone!

Guess what!
stumbled on some article about sleep..
and damn...
it's scary!
0_0

so i thought why not i do a little research..

As the pace of life gets faster and faster,
and people try to cram more and more into every minute of the day.

As things get more hectic, sleep tends to get short shrift.

It's seen as wasted time, lost forever.

"For healthy people,
there's a big temptation to voluntarily restrict sleep,
to stay up an hour or two or get up an hour or two earlier,"

But the sad truth is!!
you're really reducing your productivity and exposing yourself to risk!

Before Thomas Edison invented the light bulb in 1880,
people slept an average of 10 hours a night.
These days, Americans average 6.9 hours of sleep on weeknights
and 7.5 hours a night on weekends, according to the National Sleep Foundation.
Well average Malaysians get about 6 hours of sleep on weeknights
and 7.8 hours of sleep on weekends!
and honestly..
i didn't know that there was such a foundation!

But lack of sleep affects a person in one of two ways
First, sleeplessness influences the day-to-day performance of tasks.
The performance effects are seen immediately..

The longer-term effects of sleep deprivation involve a person's health.
Doctors have linked lack of sleep to weight gain,
diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, depression and substance abuse.
Hormones that process appetite begin to get disorganized.

Too little sleep also interferes with the body's ability to regulate glucose and can cause inflammation leading to heart problems and a rise in blood pressure.

The types of people not getting enough sleep also break down into two groups. First, there are those who make the conscious choice to go without enough sleep.

"It's sort of part of the culture,
People pride themselves on getting little sleep.
You'll hear people bragging, 'I only need six hours a night.'
So there's a macho element here."

On the other hand, there are people who are suffering from sleep disorders. These disorders include:
  • Insomnia, an inability to go to sleep or stay asleep.
  • Sleep apnea, or breathing interruptions during sleep that cause people to wake up repeatedly.
  • Restless legs syndrome, a tingling or prickly sensation in the legs that causes a person to need to move them, interrupting sleep.
Someone suffering from any of these problems should visit their doctor or see a sleep specialist
i honestly recommend it!

Anyway here are some tips for getting a good night's sleep:
  • Stick to a regular sleep schedule.
  • Avoid exercising closer than five or six hours before bedtime.
  • Avoid caffeine, nicotine and alcohol before bed.
  • Avoid large meals and beverages late at night.
  • Don't take naps after 3 p.m.
  • Relax before bed, taking time to unwind with a hot bath, a good book or soothing music.
  • If you're still awake after more than 20 minutes in bed, get up and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy. Anxiety over not being able to sleep can make it harder to fall asleep.
Anyway hope this help all of you!
Sleep Well!!

-BeN-

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Advice ~ Text Messaging

Hey everyone!
well..
here's another question post i've got here...
=3

questions asked by 8 people
3 malaysians , 2 europeans and other's are asians..

Its about:-

Relationship With Text Messaging?

Texting is all about short conversations,
and can be useful and fun in the dating context.
Texting used in certain other ways,
however, gets ugly within the dating context --
and can really get you into trouble.

Some of these uses should be avoided because
they can cause unintended misunderstandings,
while others are simply bad manners or outright rude!


So, here are seven of the biggest misuses of texting
that you should avoid in the dating context:

1. Save the Jokes.
One drawback of texting (as with any written form of communication)
is that it is sometimes difficult to convey the tone of what you write.
Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something
that you think is a joke, and they don't read it that way.
This will get you into trouble, because they may never
call you back and give you the opportunity to straighten
out the misunderstanding. So if you want to tell someone
you're trying to tell a joke, it's best to save it and tell it to them in person.

2. Texting is Not Intended to Cancel a Date.
If you don't want to see somebody again,
you need to call them and cancel the plans.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off,
whether you ever intended to see them again or not.
Texting is not an excuse to be rude. Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.

3. Don't Ask Someone Out via Text Message.
Majority of women/girls (i did a survey from 28 females)
especially can't stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging.
Every woman I've spoken to thinks that when a guy
asks them out via text message, that
he really is not that interested in them.
They all wish a guy would just pick up the phone.
Guys, if you're interested then be aman and just pick up the phone!
Granted, some women will say yes to a text date,
but they will always prefer if you call them.

4. Avoid the 'Morning After' Text.
If you had a great date with someone the night before,
don't text the person the minute you get up the next morning.
Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides.
Give someone a little time to think about you.
There's no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date.
You don't want to look over-anxious.

5. Keep the Texting to a Minimum.
Once you've texted back and forth a few times,
and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being
tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate,
you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation.
You will not discover whether you share a true connection
with someone by conversing with them via text message.
Also, as two adults, you need to have an actual voice-to-voice conversation.
So go ahead and exchange a few texts, but then get yourself on the phone!

6. You May Not Get an Answer.
Just because you texted someone,
doesn't mean they're going to respond.
This is another issue with using text messaging as
your main communication method -- especially in the dating context.
You're texting back and forth with someone,
then you send something to them and they don't respond.
They may have gotten on the phone. They may have fallen asleep.
They may have gone into a meeting.
Because texting is so impersonal, though,
you don't know what happened to them.

7. You Are Left Wondering.
Let's say you texted someone on a Tuesday,
they responded to your text, you texted them again and...
now it's Friday and they still haven't texted back.
What does someone do in that situation?
They may not be keeping a text count like you are.
They may have forgotten to text you back because
they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work,
and your text may have gotten lost.
Let me ask you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in...
or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered?
If you haven't heard from someone in a few days,
pick up the phone and call them. You never know what
they're response is going to be. Most of the time
you're going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you're going to get your answer.
That's what dating is all about... getting answers.
Plus, you won't drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.

There's a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging.
Understanding all of the seven reasons above will help you navigate
the fun side of texting in dating,
while helping you avoid the bad side of texting in dating.

Texting is a great way have a little verbal conversation
to stay connected in someone's life.
It's not a replacement for a phone conversation.
So if you're hoarding your cell phone minutes,
I suggest you contact your provider and get some more minutes.
Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!

-BeN-

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Advice ~ You can only Make a leader...

Hey everyone!
well..
today's post would be on a few questions
I've received from a lot of people about myself....

6 on questioned e-mails...
and about 20 +- on MSN and things like that...

Well today's post would be on

How To Be A Great Leader...

Lately in my life's recent years,
I shall not tell lies and disagree about people
looking up to me as their role model.

These days, there is not a single leader u
could find in our time that is born that way.

Most of them just rise up to the challenge and
stand out among the crowd.


What i can say here is there are many leaders out there..
But The question now is , Is He An Effective Leader?

Most of my friends used to say,
Ben..How did you manage to do all of this?
Most of them say that i am really good with what i do...
But the truth is everyone can be a leader
all it takes is hardwork and determination for it..

and I'm no great leader
Remember not everyone is perfect.

Anyway, with the help of 3 people and 1 source
I've Listed 8 important Leadership qualities
that most leaders should have.

1. High Energy.
2. Walk the Talk.
3. Courage.
4. Dedication.
5. Focused.
6. Personal Ethics
7. Calm under Pressure.
8. Caring

Let me begin with the 1st point.

1. High Energy.
A great leader should not ever be exhausted
from dealing with his/her daily issues.
These people know the right from wrong
and what should benefit all around him to ensure constant progress.
If a leader has high energy he would indirectly
provide a strong morale stance to his or her fellow companions.

2. Walk the Talk.
Every leader has priorities, but the main question here is
does He/She sets their primary goal to be that Single Priority?
In example , a bad leader would say "I shall make my country Green"
but during his/her term there is an increase in deforestation.
If a leader does not walk the talk , he/she would loose all trust from his/her men.
Because the difference between setting priorities
and doing them is the difference between a dreamer and a doer.

3. Courage.
In a leaders life, there is always an occation where the leader himself,
has to take risks and accept responsibility the the outcome of his decisions,
even if the outcome is deemed a disaster.
Either you control your fears,
or let your fears control everything you do.
Because if you are leading a group, you should understand
that group would be no better than the leader himself that is You.

4. Dedication.
A leader, no matter the background would be the foundation to his group.
If a leader puts in commitment and hard work into his actions on his group,
regardless of whom his group is , standard and experience,
His commitment and dedication in it would shape and create
a group of similar rank of the leader himself.

5. Focused.
Great leaders have the goal orientation to make tough decisions.
He/She should have focused goals and strive to complete it in any circumstances.
A focused leader would produce the drive and energy,
that would shield them from the pain at task.
Having a focused leader WILL greatly increase
the chance of accomplishing a goal at sight at the beginning.

6. Personal Ethics.
To be an excellent leader, that leader should posses
what we can call a high standard of personal ethics.
An example of a high standard and common quality of personal ethics is
Honesty....
If a leader is true to his actions based on his ethical ways,
decisions made under pressure and/or temptation
separate the great leaders from the impostors.

7. Calm under Pressure.
A great leader no matter what situation he is facing
should be cool under every situation he is facing.
If he posses a calm attitude towards all his situation,
he would be able to make realistic decisions to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
This character in a leader will inspire confidence in his/her members
and also empowering them to do the same.

8. Caring.
There is a saying that goes...
"People don't care how much you know,
until they know how much you care about them."
The desire to help others succeed along with you is the mark of a truly great leader.
Carrying along a vision where NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND.
In our world,
the product you are expecting depends on how much effort you put in.

So, caring about others around you (being the leader)
will awaken your group to understand
how important is it for them to be caring to you.



Weather you are trying to increase your effectiveness as a leader,
or trying to develop leadership characteristics within your group.
Concentrate on those people(friends or companions) of those you consider
to be great leaders and take them as an example to better yourself
and it doesn't hurt to ask them for guidance.

Remember leadership is an art, not science.

Believe in yourself , and though time A Leader Shall Be Born.

ps: adapted 4 points from sources

-BeN-

Anyway don’t forget to send in more of your requests to
lemonadetycoon123@yahoo.com

And place your send title/topic as “ Blog request : ” followed by your topic! =3





Friday, May 02, 2008

Advice ~ Is it really that hard?

Hey everyone!
Well this question has been posted to me since March!
I categorized this post after reading and collecting 12 questions..
(from 12 people =D)

anyway..
The Question is "Is a relationship a hard thing to maintain? How do I improve it?"

Well in our world today...
NOT surprisingly a lot of people think that a relationship
is a really hard thing to maintain. But honestly, the feeling of being able
to accomplish a long lasting relationship is one of the most satisfying thing a person could do.

But from here, I shall take my relationship as an example
for all of you couples out there.

I won't lie and say , It's been all fun and games through the relationship
because that's not the whole truth,
but I will say that I would not change a single thing
that we have been through.

I strongly believe that you only get out what you put in.
Cause as I've said many times relationships are all about give and take.
Just like everything else in life, if you don't work at it,
don't expect it to fall on your lap.

I don't know about you but I have NEVER in my life
seen something great/wonderful being given to
anyone whom has not put any effort at all!

Have You?

The biggest thing here is that
in order to improve your relationship
Believe me...
Improving your relationship you only need to
do little things once in a while and
that's what makes the biggest difference..
This could mean from buying a diamond ring to
just giving your loved one a simple weed...

This is because, I do believe that the harder you work at it,
and the bigger effort you put into it,
the better the results would be.

But remember, all it takes is not running a mile long
cause all it really takes is just simple baby steps ,
to make a world of difference.

I could sit here today telling you all about what ways you should take to improve your relationship, but what this post today is really all about one thing....
and one thing only...

And that everyone, is to Keep It Simple to start
and the rest of it will Fall Into Place.

-BeN-

ps: Hope this post helps a lot.

Anyway don’t forget to send in more of your requests to
lemonadetycoon123@yahoo.com

And place your send title/topic as “ Blog request : ” followed by your topic! =3