The Calm

It's a Friday morning, and well... i'm headed out to Westfields to run some errands...

got me thinking... it's going to be a week before i head home and i'm actually quite excited about it. =)

but the excitement is doused by the knowing fact that I've got 2 more exams coming up... and their not your walk over papers....

The thought does come to me, did i make the right decision to take up engineering?

clearly I've little interest in the process.. and all i was doing is setting my mind to it....

but to think of it really hard...

i think my life was running on a believe that i should compete with the people around me.

I don't mean the people i meet in uni...

but more of my own family,

some how it had been hard wired in my brain that i've got to be better than them in alot of ways...

=/

Like it has took me nearly 10 years to realize that in the education field, i was actually better than my siblings all this while... =/

sadly, that was not the case of the news my parents used to feed me with.. =/

But as time passed, i'm sure my parents did mean the best of intentions...

attempting to plant a hopeful seed just like other parents would do the same....

Whenever someone comes up to me and asks "Where Do you see yourself in 5 years"

well, i'm clearly stunned to be honest....

i've not one single clear way.....

*sigh*

i need help....

i think i need to talk to dad about this... =/

Till Then =)

-Ben-