SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work
and productivity from students, it will be our policy
to keep all students well taught through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T.
than anyone else. If you feel that you do not
receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course,
please see your lecturer. You will be immediately
placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our
lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be
placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL
EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously
will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers
took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't
have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in
a job teaching others. We can add your name to
our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career
in management and consulting, we will refer you to
the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.
S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to
our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TEACHING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super
High Intensity Teaching. (The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)