Empty Space in me....

Morning was pretty okie where it was boring as usuall ...started off with a friend calling me all d way from canada... yea yea...most of u know here ...Deniecehaih...everyone's having their problems...where mine is just horrible too...well she called me at about 7...(gawd dammit so early!!)just to ask me for my help with her loving boyfriend... seems they had a fight..and for all d person to call she called me all the way from canada!!! she wasn't fine as i could actually hear the tone of her voice..sorta crying...coz of little problems.... in the end i helped... and..eventually both of them were okay i guess...when that long conversation ended... she poped out d only question i can never answer...."Ben, U got one yet?"

that same question every single time kills me inside slowly...
Its just a thing i can't get no more... i fine that there's actually no way in anyhow i would get one...i am actually prepared to handle it... but its just like a hole in me.. while i just wait and hope...haih... people giving good comments about me... always doesen't quite help no more...anyway a personal message.."why not me?, u know i am here"...dont worry the person is surely reading this.. and its okie..

Hand Ball training was rough today..getting all muddy and sick was not the plan...getting injured too...the responsibility of me getting the jerseys done by the begining of school was not a good idea...people refusing to pay up..and in d end i would waste money on it all....

Life ain't all great when d people you really like isn't yours at all....
Hmm... to be truthfull... I liked alot of people...
but its just something that tells them what to not like in me..
am i hatefull
am i anonying?
well..i just need everyone to tell me...
being too straight forward is not always the answer to my problems..coz telling a little like may just help cure pain in my friends...f
riends such as Sonia... well she's
intrested in some malay guy from star.. i have nothing against it..but well if u really want something u better go out and get it... well i cant really comment on him..but i dont think its a good idea...but so much so... its not me....all i can give is hope for everyone around me to be happy...(thats why i always smile)

And Christine .. my friend from kl... leaving to australia... just hope she would understand what ever i told her.. coz its not all fun...i know much coz she takes everything too seriously... smile abit... u got another 3 weeks... go watch a movie.. enjoy...and definely.. not bother about me.. coz my own problems is my own.. and u are not the one that is supposed to cure it...

well..forgot to tell about 4 days ago... sorry my fellow ACS and convent interactors...to the acs...your I.U Day was good...seriously u killed us La Sallians... and for that... i think i would not be theone to be holding the title for interact club's iu director... its actually a death note to me...our club needs life..no members...killed and d bodies draged to Leo... well my full respect to the Greatest club in La Salle the Leo's...With no boost in confidence... there is only resignation for my self...
and no, Abdullah..."there is no point in a point with no meaning at all..."

and now to the convent.. sorry for a few of us taking your places at the i.u day... didin't feel right...and hope this would end the civil rival thing between both of our clubs,,,its horrible.. i know... and i just hope it wont continue since it started last year...

I ,now so far have d biggest break down of my life.... where resources are little.. i just have a shut eye to this problem...

I need Support!

I need Life!

I need Help...

please i need some one to help me fill in the empty space in me..

-Ben-

Day Rating:
Not good / 10

ps : this is sort of like a "sorry" note to many...

Is it meant to be??

Well...almost all my friends have suddenly disappeared off the face of the world...
First was Vinod my really good friend since form 1...
Then Deniece another of my good friend since standard 4...
and now... Christina my friend from KL....
ONE goes to Seremban
Another to Canada...and now...this one goes to Australia!

But WAIT!!! WHAT ABOUT ME!!!

Anyway what ever happens is most probably fated to happen so...
Hmm...Just wished that all of them don’t go yet so I could have more friends now....
It’s lonely when almost all of your friends are all busy studying on a holiday!!!

Well next ...yesterday my friend and I.U Director (Kishen la!)had a little problem. At
Night where I was actually busy... he needed resources for some things....but so
Much so... I can’t actually give because it’s actually out of d law thingy... so eventually
He persuaded my little mind is I gave the things to him. Well not actually gave it...
I just left it there for him to collect... (At d front of my house gate)
It was actually sneaky...ha-ha...

Ha-ha...anyway...it’s too early to type anymore...so I’ll leave it to here now...

-Ben-
Day Rating:
6/10

Help!! need entertaiment

Okie! Holidays Begin!!
haha...let me see where to start...today's a monday...mom and dad were not home so i was practically in heaven for a day just sleeping and playing games... let me see...wait a.sec....

yea...went to school in d morning although its a holiday...spent time fixing darshana's robot he called the Scorpion.... not bad and it seriously looks like a scorpion..haha!!
well...i started this game that i tought was sucky called Fable (pic up there)
in d end i had to eat my own words coz i got pretty much addicted and i completed the whole game in like 3 days!!
hahaha
fingers are aching and stuff now...

hmm..its just after dinner time what i picked up the phone to call pizza for my dinner after doin my chores...that includes walking my dog or i could actually say my dog waking me...hahaha!! till d chain i was using broke... where he almost got hit by a car,, to be exact my neighbours car...haha.

any way my day's boring so i got nothing to type down...so i better go now....
tataz...

Day Rating :
8/10

robots!

"There she goes...the great la Sallian's Robot that was tought to be perfect
<<<-------
is now destroyed...
to parts such as this....
---->>>>
anyway...i skipped examination day to be at Smk Teknik Shah Alam for the "National Robitics Compotition" where they tought us how to programme the Robot....well..for all i can say... i already learnt how to do it... so by missing the physics paper... i had a great chance to get soalan bocor..!!! yes!!! but too bad... forgot to do so... was too tired after the work shop...

Anyway the next day... i had to suffer in school because i am forced to complete a 2 1/2 hour paper in 1 1/2 hours!!!
not enough!!! its like bad!!!
damn...that was physics..
and today i am gona sit for Moral!!!

arr!!! essay!!!
dont like essay.... its like boring.....
anyway i have to get ready for school its about 6.00 now...

so i will put d rest in point form...

1.today is merdeka day!!
2.feeling tired...(couldnt sleep last night)
3.forgotten notes that i've written (moral)
4.Going to get school's jerseys done!
-Its for hand Ball btw....
5.going to shower now...

so...

seeya everyone....

Day Rating:
8/10

Chemistry

Okie sorry this post was late... was busy studying....

kay point form
1. school was pretty good (chemistry rocked)
2. feeling stupid after attending add math class (prasad)
3. wishing that i can go out by d end of this week (exam over ma)
4. hungry d whole day! (must eat fast food!!)
5. completed study for moral and est..(i think i did...)
6. worried bout physics tomorrow (but i ponteng)
7. Going Crayzee (hungry)
8. got to go... seeya

i was serious!!

hahaha
-benji-

Day Rating :
5.5/10

Math - Dropouts?? everythings related

Well boring day as usuall...well first of all... meet my companion for d day! (picture above) its like d only thing keeping me off my studies forawhile... or else my face would be glued to the books!!!

hmm... let me see.. too lazy to type....
1. woke up late... ate some weird things i have not eaten in quite awhile...hahaha....
whats it called again..arr... chee chong fan...or sunthing like that... what can i say i am a Banana... well partly... i am still able to talk chinese alittle...

2.Friends online are pretty busy today... especially Karen...donno what she's doing...always talking bout going out... suddenly went missing d whole day....
its like come on everyone!! lay back a while!! although exam is tomorrow everyone would get good results...like duh... look at me!! sick of the exam...its a waste of time...

the goverment is always asking smk la salle to have exams and in d end every 3 weeks theres and exam... till every one dont give a shit about it no more...then as usuall parents of all shapes and sizes come to d school complaning the school that the school sucks and stuff..
well its actually d parents fault...coz all d parents that actually come to the school are all the parents of dropouts.... its like get a life my fellow dropouts... start robbing banks and stuff like all u morons are.....need help i give info how to do it and u go?? kay?? want???
no?? why not??? ohhh....yea i remembered u all dont have d hormones that are stong enough to do so...too small down there......

so people out there u all should understand that all this combines in to a long chain such as :
school-drop out - drugs-bank robbery-economy bad-hunger-poverty-death...so... haih...no more explanation....

haih...studying addmath is really killing me... i cant seem to understand why d graph is like so and so...

what i understand so far is like

a(x-p)^2 -(2)

but where does the p and x comes from d "general form"
ax^2 +bx +c =0
...
anyone can explain???

anyway i better go... need to continue studying....

-Ben Given Up-

Day Rating :
6/10

Saturday , 20 / May

Yawn....
That was what i first did in d morning....well i think it means its gona be a boring day as it is....always..

kay...i ended up skipping accounts class so i could study addmath in d house... but i need help of finding why!! what !! and how!! in d world am i supposed to "Complete the Square?"

at 1st i was like kay it sounds easy maybe its just like a cube?
Cube Cube Cube???
hmm..." yea!!"
so i got abit high and confused and did this...
SQUARE X 8= CUBE!!
-------->>>

so anyway...i am all messed up today
i need help...just a little help... other than that...i am pretty okie....where i was asked to go out by one of my friends from KL . wonder why she asked anyway....

the other details i will put it in point form..

1. Parents not in for d whole day till tomorrow
Reason : attending wedding ceremony
Action : Try *wink wink* to study...

2. Some friends wants some Cash
Reason : Wanna go cyber Cafe
Action : Middle finger Motion.

3. Going to clean room
Reason : Spill a Cup of chinese tea
Action : just stare at it...

4. Do Work and be serious abt it
Reason : add math test on monday
Action : STUDY....after eating...hmm...

5. Feeling Hungry
Reason : Breakfast too light
Action : Call Pizza online... yummy... juz jokin...going pasar malam later

and finaly
6. People behind house shooting crows
Reason : Chopped trees in d area
Action : Cheer Them on!! wooohoo!!

kay...gtg everyone.. study time...

-Ben El Mastionious-

Day Rating:
6/10

Ps: last picture has got nothing to do about anything what so ever...

Everyone Wear your GOLD!!

ARRRRR!!!!
hehe... well that was my first reaction when i got home from school after a great day actually... BM exam went well with all the funniest stuff in class...such as my friend Kartick...was like sitting in front of the whiteboard..
--------------->>>>

so...as all la sallians are... he took d chance of rubbing all d letters that would eventually make funny words such as "Pastikan Semua Baju anda di pakai dengan Kemas"
He made it look like " pastikan anda pakai emas!"
hahaha d whole class started laughing in d examination time and thats when almost all d teachers came in were thinking we were laughing at them..hahaha!!especialy En .Salehuddin...or i can say Paddle pop guy?? i donno why in d world everyone calls him that...but its weird... so if any of u guys out there knows why is it like that?? please do tell me....kay...??

anywayz..essay writing was pretty easy just like a hot knife going through butter...ahahaha.. hope i made d paragraphs long enough (konon...too long edi..)
and hope our teacher wont go fainting marking my paper..
coz its like....
.........
.........
well that's what i mean u cant even give a comment about it.. only this "......"

when i got back home...(it continues after arrr!!)
i was at d mirror wondering why is there this huge...well not that huge...kay kay... there was this lump on my chin ...i think i got it by putting my chin on d table at school while taking a rest...as usuall... outch....

anyway d whole day pretty much turned out great especially yesterday's night conversation with Sonia Chin... that was pretty fun...haha

so gtg everybody...

-Ben Gobierna!-

Day Rating:
7/10

Teachers Day!

It was Practically a waste of good time.... study study.... haih....
anyway d performances went pretty well where i actually enjoyed d day... started of with my duty at d primary gate..

some malay guys were all like on drugs and smoking like people....asking them to go to d hall is like trying to ask drug addicts to stop taking drugs.... its like dude... are u educated??hmmm... guess not.....

i was d guy doin the coordination for d performance and i can say that d malay group sucked!!!
its like listening to some singer with his mouth full with crap and he's trying to sing.... Gawd damn...hahaha!!

in d end d best was still d first performance... that is d 1st one... up there d photo.... d malay guy brought his sister's and friend to perform...hahaha

well ..gtg... got some stupid gut next to me ....that his name is Koo....
hahaha...

Kay seeya

-Ben Patea Su Asno-

Day Rating :
4/10

Uranus = your Anus?!? ahahaha

Well hello everyone!!
today was pretty bad...and funny too...

It was exam day... d Battle started with confusion... and lots of it....ahaha...
Sejarah Paper 2.... i got alittle carried away... had alittle too much energy in me..

was supposed to choose 3 questions to do...i did it all... every single one...hahaha...so there i lost marks coz the teacher would be marking d first 3 questions...where i did not do well....hahaha

other than that... i had EST paper 2...hahahaha...it was practically comedy paper coz we was a question about the planets Uranus and Venus i was like... URANUS! = YOUR ANUS.!! HAHAHA..

and the answer to that question was like " A. Uranus is much further away from Earth compared to Venus."
think about i people... its like in my term... my ass is much further from earth than venus....hahaha!!!


Anyway.... got back from school after a short lecture from my teacher Pn Jasvir... where she was telling me and informing me about tomorrow...that is d one and only..."Teachers Day."...so called to be the best day if everything goes right...and thats where i come in with d job of keeping all d performances in order and ready....

BUT!!! I just remembered that i have to prepare a time table for that short one hour...
so... in Conclusion.. thats how i looked like...
--------------------->
hahaha

okie... arr.. let me see... yea... Michael...i know u are reading this... as usuall.. haih... tell u d truth.. relax la... dont worry about what would happen to your gf la... she's fine.. believe me....coz i asked her d....heh-heh-heh

anyway gtg everyone.. its getting late... really late...
so..hope everything would be fine tomorrow....

-Ben La Maurice Cafe-

Day Rating :
5/10

Emotions + Life = Ice Kacang

Well Thats how i looked like today...all pale and pure boring-ness...
yea yea i know no shirt.... it ain't a free show....hahaha...

hmm...started day off waking up at bout 8.00.... went for tution where i got picked on by teacher about my hand (Dog Bite).... heh-heh-heh....

feeling nervous... Exam coming up.... thinking of the Questions that might come up... maybe about Sejarah and Biology.. and d worst thing is that Teachers day is on tuesday and i am forced to do things....

hmm...in my room now... as u can see d picture above... just wish that i can study as well as i did last time... i just dont have any encouragement anymore like last time when i was filled with strength....

my friends are all busy... and i just hope that i can get time to be with someone.... anyone....

alot of u told me that i might have emotional problems... well guys...and girls... nah... its not emotional problems... coz i ain't cryin...haha... just really busy with life till i cant have fun... and thats all i need... some time off....

so...if any of u just wanna have a chat with me .. sms me.. or call me... i would be free to talk....
:)

-ben being bored-

Day's Rating :
6/10

ZzZzZzZzZzZzzZ.......Yawn....

Well ...
today is a really dored out day... satrted with mom unpacking her bag since d morning when i was in school... then.... oh crap... wait a sec.. theres some ass hole outside my house yelling.....
...
.....
...
...

okie... back... so as i was saying... she unpacked... and i noticed they did not spend much on d whole trip like usuall... Amazing isn't it... coz now adays they usually end up buying all they can while being out of d country...hahaha..

well in school.. or i may call it prison....

we had chemistry where teacher was blabering as usuall about some formula's and other stuff like the shell of d atom and preodic table stuff. till i got alittle bored...

after an hour of torture at chemistry class... we had d Pj lesson.. as all the cell mate's (classmates) head down for pj we started warming up and playing Sepak Takraw... it felt like my *toot* dropped when i did a high kick... outch....hahaha

after P.E was over off to Bm... that was actually pretty funny coz our "Warden of d hour" Class Teacher is Pregnant...hahaha... we were all playing around with her asing her why not she leave on hari terbuka so she dont have 2 see our parents...hahaha.... well it failed...
:(

It was Recess!!!
The Cell Mate's Rushed like pumped up bulls all the way to the canteen... it was like hell... where the prison guards(prefects)...as i am one of them being bombarded with sounds and plates...yes plates...haha....But the most AMAZING thing i saw was my friend Tommy Koo !!!

He was like :-

"Woi Budak!!!... Letak balik ...letak balik...."
btw its a plate he's asking them to put back...hahaha

after recess .... we had a long long long lecture by our teacher Cik Hannah... i think...hahaha... she was like "Why are u late?!?!?!" to every single person that comes in!!! and she complains that we are wasting her time...hahaha... me and Goh were saying that she should ignore us... rather that hammering us with stuff like that... its like she got "u know"....

well d rest of d day is pretty much d same...
My finger is still abit bengkak...and scary... but i will be back on training on d following week....

So...thats all for now... and people...just put d comments on d comments list ..not my c box....hahaha....

SEEYA...

-Ben Le Tired-

Day Rating : -
5/10

Virtual Fish and... Mr Johnny Leeeeeeee :P

well...
today is a day which i should here by name The Most Quiet Day of My Life...
heh-heh-heh

hmm... woke up at 7.... on a sunday... weird rite?? coz i am not that comfortable on d chair...lazy to walk up 2 bed the previous night...haha...so went to get some bread... later... well... actually 2 minutes later... i walked to d room...and obviously i turned on d computer... with d head phones on my ear.. i am trying to study... trying everyone... not so sure if anything go in...hahaha... anyway...

i was playing with my virtual pet fish on d pc... that was actually getting boring coz it kept getting sick with fungus and stuff...got pissed ... then grandma came down... with d most brightning question..." le ai ciack ha mi"... i was like... thank you god!??!?! hahaha well i had porridge for lunch and a whole chinese course for dinner all to myself...hahaha. yummy...

well review time.... finger is pretty good.... still bleeding abit if i do any activities ...
went to see some old friends.. or more like some old friends came to see me... went out for a jog... beaten them in 8 laps... yea!! (btw.. southernpark field) legs feel tired since did not exercise for about a week...

hmm... what else... haih...yea... exam comin soon... alot of problems...cant study... brain lazy...
aiyak.... forgot to say... hmm... Mr Johnny lee...(actually jonye...its a girl.. not guy... i ejek till sound like guy)
haha... arr..
toobad i dont have ur photo but yea people who know her ... little miss jonye has done lots of bad things... as usuall.. who doesent... but wait.... curi ppl's identity har... evil .... hahaha... she has managed 2 trick 45...yea yea 45 people to beleving that she is someone else...hahaha
too bad u failed on me...hahaha...try to cheat me la... wont work....hahahaha

thats all now...

Day Rating 6/10

-Ben Z mIN-

Chain REACTION!!

What an unlucky week..
it feels like they are linked together

okie...
i will type down a chain

DOG - BITE - HAND - HOSPITAL - INJECTION - NUMB - PAIN - CANT USE HAND - RIGHT HAND - I AM A RIGHT HANDER - CANNOT COMPLETE HOMEWORK - CANT STUDY - EXAMS LOOKS NEAR - (future) - Might Fail....

see..
so..
should i blame my little doggie.?

hmm.. dont think so... he's an animal anyway...hahaha...
okie...today i am typing this coz its like d only thing i can do with one hand apart from playing simple games...

haih..
cant afford to get my hand wet.. so... to tell the whole truth... i have not showered since d morning... usually i shower 3 times a day... cleaniness is IMPORTANT !!

well feel uncomfortable... feeling too full...
reason - grandma's cooking tooo good!!
haha..who wanna come over 2 eat??

planning to go out 4 movie... but too tired...
and yea i practically watched amazing race playback d whole day... boring isn't it... what to do....no shows 2 watch while some of my friends like Sonia and Mei Li are encouraging me to watch it....haha..sorry girls..i am bored with taiwanese dramas....

and so let move on 2 guys topics....
John...no time... cant go out... *cough * - *cough* very sick (myself)sorry la dude...i just really lazy to move la... u go la 2 TR ur self... u would beat me anyway....hmm...

yea!!! b4 i 4 get!! who wanna go play paint ball with me!!
well that of coz when my hands heal..
at SJ.. RM 70! i will get d bullets!!
hahaha..

hmm...
that practically what happened d whole day..

Day Rating : 5/10

Medic anyone!? medic?? MEDIC!!!!

OKIE..
1ST OF ALL....sorry guys no photos... no camera with me for a week....hahahah

hmm..
too tired so let me give it 2 u all in point form...

1. hand still in pain(dog bitten)
2. need a medic! ( hand still pain)
3. cant write (hand pain)
4. homework cant do....(in deep shit)
5. to strong medication ( antibiotics )
6. feeling high (too much medication)
7. ass hurts (injections for d dog bite)
8. money would becoming out of my pocket ( medical fees)
9. have not read newspapers (so un-updated)
10. need to find lasallian singers! (teachers day)
11. feeling thirsty... (going to buy 100+)
12. too tired to continue....(due to medication)

and finally
13. my ass still hurts...

Day Rating :
4/10

Info Of the Day : Fun Doesen't Last 4 EVER!! HAHAHHA!!

So called lucky....my dog...

hey everyone...
damn....i am sooo badly injured.... so let me explain....
my maid that was staying with me for 16 yrs went home.... and when she went back and i/.... yes i... went to feed the dog... he didin't like it... so...what did he do u guys ask....
he bitted me!!!
on my fourth finger!!
so now...i can go to school cause i have some disease and some crap ...where they bandaged my whole finger that made it look 4 times larger!!

hahahaha although it hurts cause of d jab..(jab = injection) it was pretty okie for a price...
furthermore... my mom and dad is not in to give me help...so i would like to thank my neighbour dr amba... gawd if he wasnt there i would be in a coffin now with an infection...

Bills: RM 70 i did not pay...the doctor did...
Feelings : Horrifying Pain!!
Next Reaction: Call friends over for "dog kut teh.."

hahaha...day rating 3/10

it aint that bad after all...hahha